i do what i do best!

feelings.

if you know me then you see someone who is awkward and fun to talk to. i never really felt that way. i never really saw myself as smart, funny, or pretty. i’ve been constantly told that i was but i never really believed them. i don’t know. maybe it’s because i never really succeeded in things i wanted to. theater is going to be my major in college. i have yet to get a role beyond the lines of being on stage once, saying a minor plot point, and getting off stage. i’ve tried out for the comedy sportz team at my school three times. not even a callback. i get the feeling that no one likes me. yes people get along with me, but i haven’t really gotten past the stage of an occasional hi in the hallway. the people i do talk to annoy me. one of them in my first period class doesn’t stop talking about her boyfriend. she was talking about getting a date to prom and i finally came out and said “at least you have a boyfriend.” a lot of the relationships i do have with guys end up nonexistent. i can’t really talk to anyone so i make relationships in my head. it’s not that i can’t talk to guys, i’m just awkward around them. i don’t know… feelings. gah.

i feel like i can’t really say what’s on my mind without being talked back about it, or getting interrupted. i talk about a simple thing, or something that i need to get off my chest, but i always get cut off or talked down on. it bothers me how much my family truly supports me. they say they love me, but they don’t fully support my dream to be a filmmaker and an actress. they never let me tell them how my day was. they only talk about how they miss my sister. and if i say something they yell at me about how i’m not grateful about where i live or something like that. 

feelings. i need to stop being a teenager and move out.

legend of korra episode 5

so i went camping this weekend so i couldn’t see the episode on air. being the obsessed impatient fangirl i am i go online and watch it, not wanting to wait for it to go on tv. so i have it load and i start watching it. WHAAAAAAAAAAA???? this episode is purely made for hopeless romantics like me and it made me oh so happy. i don’t care if it’s a bad fanfic i absolutely loved it. but i notice a lacking of airbending in this series thus far. they should put some in. i want to see some. 

i want to airbend. no, waterbend. actually earthbend. no wait i just want to be the avatar and have my life be complete. 

whoah wait…

how in the heck did appa rebreed? last i checked he was the last flying bisen…